you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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