This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
