Her vagina should come with caution tape.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
