considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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