i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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