I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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