i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
