gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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