So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
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A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
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I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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