My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
His nipple licking is glorious
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