Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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