Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
