So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
