i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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