He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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