it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
