i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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