Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave