I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?