Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.

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(301): Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel. http://tfl.nu/b636

Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (4065)
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(850): View more from Florida

Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?

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(850): Did you dl zombie porn on my computer? http://tfl.nu/emjo

Replies (11) Good night (1974) Bad night (3246)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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(740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5

Replies (39) Good night (8344) Bad night (910)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee

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(314): Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee http://tfl.nu/57zq

Replies (20) Good night (8733) Bad night (1262)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.

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(501): You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was. http://tfl.nu/yz4l

Replies (4) Good night (1949) Bad night (840)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.

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(505): Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening. http://tfl.nu/2dkx

Replies (24) Good night (3670) Bad night (978)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?

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(775): He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him? http://tfl.nu/kkqj

Replies (19) Good night (776) Bad night (1843)
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(773): View more from Illinois

while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"

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(773): while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future" http://tfl.nu/uwag

Replies (17) Good night (4185) Bad night (803)
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(206): View more from Washington

I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.

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(206): I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship. http://tfl.nu/s5mh

Replies (18) Good night (2356) Bad night (1023)
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(210): View more from Texas

This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.

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(210): This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions. http://tfl.nu/0vpd

Replies (2) Good night (999) Bad night (586)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will

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(205): I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will http://tfl.nu/rm9j

Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (480)
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(425): View more from Washington

I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..

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(425): I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt.. http://tfl.nu/0vvh

Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (385)
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(647): View more from Ontario

HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION

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(647): HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION http://tfl.nu/2yk9

Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (757)
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(848): View more from New Jersey

Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?

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(848): Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different? http://tfl.nu/41su

Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (329)
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(813): View more from Florida

When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.

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(813): When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out. http://tfl.nu/gt6a

Replies (0) Good night (264) Bad night (371)

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