Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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(205): View more from Alabama

i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"

(1-205): View more from Alabama

if you ask that question again our friendship is over

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(214): View more from Texas

You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song

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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce

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(416): View more from Toronto

ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.

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