I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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