How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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