Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
