You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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