Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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