i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
as a side note pls kill me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
