Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
