Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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