is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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