You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
