Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
