Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
