Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
did i just pee glitter
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
