i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
