She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
