where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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