piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize