I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
