The maid of honor just puked.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
