Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
