you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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