Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
