If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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