I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize