dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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