I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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