So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
