moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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