Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
