dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
