Just fell off a train. Bad.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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