if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i've created a new STD.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
