The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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