You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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