I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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