Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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