Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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