I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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