were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
