No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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