yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
