just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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