a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
