on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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