we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
