I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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