Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We need to rekindle our bromance
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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