ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
