you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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